No Title by R.L. Syme

the lights flicker in oval peaks in the window,
tiny globes hidden in beats by the rain.
they blink like eyes,
reminding me you could be watching,
or you are watching.
and just when I think I can sense you,
and turn to look,
I see the streaked darkness only,
my hopes in ruin.
you are never there when I hope,
and rarely when I don’t,
your presence like the paradox of life.
I can conjure up some nostalgia
if I concentrate,
but no amount of wishing
can resurrect the goodness in me.
it is called out, but does not awaken.
the darkness you see,
the darkness you raised in me
has hidden it,
suffused it,
like the light in the downpour.
I wait for you,
even as I curse you,
oh, thou, my undoing,
this night as all nights.

-R.L. Syme (October 1 P3T)