Alcohol and Drug Assessment by Dr. Buttchaps

ASAM Alcohol and Other Drug Assessment

December 1, 2009
Patient: Operandi, Modus

Dimension I (Acute withdrawal/detox, Alcohol and Other Drug use History): Modus Operandi exhibits severe withdrawal potential.  Modus appears to have actively used alcohol and other drugs throughout it’s lifetime.  An accurate history of drugs in Modus is difficult to determine, but a quick glance back to issue #7 reveals explicit descriptions of cooking black tar heroin.  Issue #9 of Modus’ history presents a cover what appears a hippie smoking some undisclosed substance.  This clinician doubts whether much of Modus Operandi has ever been sober.

Dimension II (physical and medical complications): Modus Operandi’s entire presentation is likely a product of serious stimulant use during copying sessions without sleep.  This is evidenced by the haphazard stapling of Modus and frantic unkempt appearance.  Modus will likely suffer long-term physical consequences due to alcohol and other drugs and will need special care and attention to a healthy diet as prescribed by such yogis as Buttchaps.

Dimension III (mental health issues that complicate alcohol and other drug use): Modus Operandi has a history of severe psychosis, Not Otherwise Specified.  Modus’ handle on reality will likely deteriorate without active substance use and will likely need long-term psychotropics to counteract bipolar and psychotic symptoms.

Dimension IV (relapse potential and stage of change): Once Modus Operandi sets it’s mind to something this becomes, well, it’s modus operandi.  As long as Modus can maintain its action stage of change, a maintenance stage and staunch recovery will be established.

Dimension V (recovery environment): Modus Operandi just needs a good copy machine and plenty of silly and disgusting material to maintain a good recovery environment.  This clinician advises that Modus stay away from all Kinkos where coffee is served as this will likely be a relapse trigger.

This clinician recommends 90 meetings in 90 days.  Maybe Modus Operandi can produce something with substance without any substances.  An alternative may be finding another behavior without so many long-term consequences, such as more porn, shitty reviews, food, dirty jokes, and toilet humor.  This clinician recommends a strengths based approach and increasing Modus’ motivation to continue to inspire with aversion.