Why I hate Sonic Youth/ appendix five?/ by Kelli McMeats
I think if you ask most people why they listen to music, they will say the same thing that most drug users say about their choice fix- escape. Music helps us forget where we are and what shitty shit is going on. The best part is there are no side effects or hangovers and it’s not killing our brain cells slowly and eternally. Well, maybe not most of the time. I think it depends on what you consider “music.”
About a year ago, Mr. McMeats and I were moving our friend (and your loyal editor) Schlitz to Vancouver in my tiny Volkswagen. I wish we would’ve got pictures of him snugly and firmly stuck in the back seat between his amp and trash bags of clothes, straddling his guitar. My knees were pressed against the dash to give him the most possible (yet still insanely limited) room. On the long drive, the conversation inevitably turned to one of my greatest passions: detesting Sonic Youth. It started with Schlitz saying he’d listened to the Bagel Dogs that past weekend and how proud he was that he had “made it” through an hour of listening. He said he had to turn it off and take a couple aspirin. My husband agreed that this was indeed a hearty meal and congratulated him on his feat.
Most of you know that the Bagel Dogs and Sonic Youth are very similar and possibly influenced each other in a scary parallel universe or on some sort of psychedelic, circular timeline. What’s totally fucked up is that Shawn and/or Steve are probably reading this right now and creaming themselves thinking I just paid them the ultimate compliment.
Music…scratch that… Real Music is not supposed to be something that is endured or suffered through. Your not supposed to be tired or worn out after listening to an album and you definitely shouldn’t need a fucking aspirin. Schlitz says I’m wrong, but let’s go back to my druggie metaphor. People with addictive personalities are notoriously drawn to whatever is the worst for them. Have you ever seen a tweeker and thought there is no way there is a high great enough to make up for someone looking that bad? In most cases, I don’t think the high is that grand. I think they feel they need it (for one) because they’ve heard from enough smart, sane people who care about them how truly horrible it is and how they should stay away from it. I think that makes them crave it all the more.
Maybe I should start saying I love Sonic Youth and then my friends will wake up and not want shit anymore.
But we all know I can’t do that and it wouldn’t work anyway, so what the fuck? They can have it. They’re on Austin City Limits right now. That’s just fantastic. Hey Schlitz- I just “made it” through a whole ten minutes! Aren’t you proud? Now, I need a couple bottles of aspirin.
To the rest of you who have yet to let your brains melt from noisy torture, remember, Just Say No.
