Why I hate Sonic Youth
Appendix 4
By Kelli McClellan
I told Shawn I wanted to do the Top Eleven Reasons I hate Sonic Youth in honor of Modus #11. He asked me if I could think of that many. Steve asked if I could narrow it down to that few. Steve’s quandary is much more challenging, of course. Here they are:
#11. Their freaking name.
Sonic- adj. Def. 1- of sound or sound waves; Def. 2- of the speed of sound in air
Youth- n. Def. 1- time when people are young; Def. 2- the state of being young
So their name means “young sound.” While I will give them the fact that it is sound (terrible, stupid, unbearable sound), but sound nonetheless, I will argue to my death that it was ever “young.” Way before these bastards, annoying noise was old news. They didn’t invent making amazingly intolerable and excruciating sounds, they just helped morons accept that it was okay to do so and call it “music.” Thanks again. Plus, I didn’t even mention the fact that the combined age of the four of them is 202. One member under 50 (Steve Shelley’s 45) in a group called Sonic Youth. I bet some of you think that’s brilliant. Fuck off.
#10. They are and have always been unnecessary.
The group formed in 1977. That year the Ramones, The Damned, Iggy Pop, Elvis Costello, and Motorhead all had amazing albums. I can see why this year would make a person want to form a band, but they should’ve accepted that they suck at their first “jam session” and just enjoyed the real music that was happening all around them. Instead, they single handedly tried to ruin it.
#9. They make my friends suck.
My friends love to play this game where they put Sonic Youth on the stereo without telling me and then wait to see if I’ll go, “Hey, whose this? They’re pretty good.” I don’t.
#8. They waste my time.
Because of these idiots, I have to constantly explain myself. I could be talking about the bands I love, but instead I’m stuck making sure the world is aware of this pretend band’s lies and deceits.
#7. I don’t like being in pain.
The only time what you listen to should cause you pain is when it evokes a memory or emotion. I’m pretty sure wanting to rip your own ears off is not an emotion.
#6. My husband’s album collection takes up a whole wall of my house.
I would have some more room if 52 of them would go to hell.
#5. They think their noise makes them intelligent.
Nothing is worse than stupid people trying to be clever. It’s sad to watch and even sadder to listen to. Once again, JUST BECAUSE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE AN ARTIST.
#4. I was taught to stay away from evil.
I’m pretty sure Sonic Youth’s “songs” have hidden messages that tell you to worship Satan.
#3. Free Kitten is okay.
Kim Gordon is in a band called Free Kitten and they don’t hurt me. Lots of people think that’s weird (especially given reason #2), but I have actually met other people who hate Sonic Youth, yet like Free Kitten. The fact that the members of Sonic Youth are capable of making real, actual music and don’t is what makes this Reason #3.
#2. Kim Gordon
I’ve never hated anyone I’ve never met so much. I used to hate the lead singer of Dashboard Confessional more because his face and head make me want to shoot myself not to mention his music eats my ass, but he got bumped down when I realized that at least you don’t have to wonder whether he’s singing or doing an interview. Her writing sucks, her face sucks, her attitude sucks, and her “singing” sucks. The only time Sonic Youth almost sounds like music is when she shuts the fuck up. Sonic Youth would not be my Sonic Youth without her. She is shit. Not the shit. Just shit.
#1. Because I just do.
You know how at the end of The Terminator, it kinda makes your head hurt trying to figure out how John Connor’s dad came back from the future to make sure John’s in the future, but he can’t be in the future if the future when his dad was born didn’t exist first? Sonic Youth makes me feel like I’m trapped in a world where no one questions things like that. They just accept what they hear as music. It works for an action movie, not for real life.
so I completely agree.
can I have your husbands 52 records?
love,
Stoned
Actually, Sonic Youth is one of my favorite bands of all time. Then again, so are the Pixies and the Melvins–but I can still understand why people might not like any of those three bands. It’s just an opinion.
Personally, I think Elvis Costello is pretty bad and the only band I’ve ever hated with as severe a passion as you have for SY is the Ramones. (The Clash are a close second on that list of the hated though.) Joy Division was just too above and beyond these hacks.
I think we need to judge music for being music; not for being bands, people, looks, genres, album covers, influences, or any of the other BS criteria critics are constantly whipping out of their assholes.
Anywho, this is a hilarious article. That Terminator ref almost made me piss myself.
I just sent Kim from Sonic Youth a silent butt heavenly in your honor! I basically bottled up a fart and sent it to the band from you. Enjoy.
this is awesome
firstly they did not form in 77.
secondly i get the impression that you do not like things that are very different/experimental, and therefore think that you would burn witches
if they were still deemed inappropriate because you are a peasent.
the only stupid person trying to sound clever here is you due to the fact that you have constructed a whole page for the purpose of spreading hate with a sarcastic weak attempt at dry humour.
people dont ike stuff and thats cool but you would think that sonic youth tried to assault you or something?
perhaps i make a whole website dedicated to hating your ridiculous attitude? no because i am not a sad little hermit with a face like a smacked posterior.
enjoy you basic two chord greenday music.
sonic youth sucks. make a sonicyouthsucks.com
I wholeheartedly agree with your list, and much like your friend Steve I am amazed at your restraint at limiting yourself to only 10 reasons.
I think the reason I hate Sonic Youth so much is Thurston’s doofus, nerdy, superior, arty, self-conscious, insufferable pretentiousness. I say this because Kim G has done work that I enjoy, and I get the feeling that if I met her, I would like her. I sure as hell like her clothing line better than Gwen Stefani’s. I don’t think she would be as much fun to hang out with as, say, Diamanda Galas or Lydia Lunch or, hell, Jenny McCarthy, but I don’t think I would want to run screaming from the encounter in the same way I would if I had to talk to Thurston.
Thurston reminds me in a bad way of other poets-turned-artists-turned-musicians-turned-bong hit philosophers-turned-spokesmen-for-a-generation. He reminds me of a taller and much uglier John Doe (even though I love Exene). He is every partially-stoned social studies teacher at East Coast private schools. He is every clove-cigarette-smoking middle-class ARTISTE who has ever hit on me at a poetry reading.
I don’t think it’s music. I think it’s boring, monotonous, uninteresting noise, No Wave with a better thesaurus, Velvet Underground wannabes with slightly better wardrobes, and it breaks my heart to think of the great things my generation could have produced if so many of the singer/songwriter/guitarists hadn’t been trying to emulate Thurston.
Just because you live in NYC doesn’t make you an artist, any more than living in Arizona makes you a cactus.
I just saw SY at HOB in San Diego. As best as I can tell they have been an ongoing band for about 28 years. They played for 75 minutes. Really, 75 minutes – that’s all they could do? And even then it seemed like they were just going through the motions. Now I’m going to have to rethink why I thought I liked them in the first place….
You are my hero. This band is exactly how you defined them; they have almost no talent, and they really do completely suck. My friend tried to show me this concert or something with them, and one of the guys tried to claim that he’s to the extreme because he thought about lighting puke and lighter fluid on fire and throwing it on the crowd. They’re such fucking faggots, they weren’t good when they started, and they sure as hell aren’t good to date.
Ok, you don’t have to be very clever, artsy, or highley intelligent to enjoy Sonic Youth. However it does involve having an I.Q. at least slightly above 80. So for you who hate their music I suggest this: 1st I know you dig’em alot but refrain from listening to Creed, Kiss, Justin Bieber, and Miley Cyrus for one week.
2nd Read one book in it’s entirety that same week. Preferably something your not totally familiar with. Something less juvenile (so yes, put down twilight).
3rd That following Monday put on Sonic Youth’s “Rather Ripped” (you have to have a cd or vinyl for this to work, ipod’s will keep you at the same level your currently at) and listen to all of it.
This formula will not take immediately however you should repeat this process except only to change the cd to another Sonic Youth record each time. Six months later call me…. I’ll have your Sonic Youth concert ticket waiting.
I can’t believe how wrong you are. You claim you have to have an IQ of above 80. I claim you have to have an IQ below 10. Their noise that they so carelessly call music is nothing but garbage. Their creativity was obviously low the day that they tried to hit the guitar with a screwdriver, or better yet a baseball bat, right? Of course. Rationalize so you can try to fit in among the other elitist fags that claim their music is genius.
Sonic Youth rule b/c they make guitars sound like anything but guitars (and I love old school guitar playing). Are you seriously claiming that inventing custom tunings and using screwdrivers to get new sounds ISN’T creative? How many times have you reinvented guitar playing?
This is why I dislike people who like sonic youth. They are in NO WAY intelligent and listening to them in no way indicates that you are intelligent. Sure they may be better justin bieber; in the same way that a dog shitting on your carpet is better than an elephant. They both suck.
You need to extend your spectrum and get some perspective – In terms of musicality; I would put sonic youth very low on the scale when compared to the likes of Richard James, Miles Davis, Eric Satie.
If you played this tripe to Claude Debussy whilst trying to convince him it is music he would simultaneously puke and shit, then take out a dildo and skull fuck himself until he died.
That’s one of the most annoying things about people who like sonic youth – they actually think they are intelligent musicians! They are ANTI music. Take it from a classically trained musician. And I’m not a snob, I like experimental music – guys like square pusher genuinely push the envelope and are incredibly creative. But Sonic youth …well…..they can suck my balls.
Don’t get me wrong. There is an element of subjectivity as to whether people like a piece of music or not– I’m sure some people genuinely like the sound of distortion, harmonics and some bint reading “poetry” sounding like a cat being raped by john Holmes – but please don’t pretend its anything other than what it is.
It seems to me that they are a band people listen to to reaffirm a perception – about the way they see themselves and the way they want others to see them. From my experience these people tend to be hipster, art house, un-talented pricks.
Who the fuck do you think you are ? Who the fuck cares about what you say ? Your argumentation is too simplistic and boring to be taken seriously, bitch
i kinda agree, theyr tricks are too simple and.. may be in 84 when they came out but not even.. i cant stand the fact they tried to sell out punk rock putting arty movies clips on record covers and doing that bad bad lp goo wich is in every art student room..
Oh yeah RE the condescending Twilight book comment – the same could be said of your ilk….why don’t you try reading a book not written by Hunter s Thompson, Jack Kerouac, Deepak Chopra or some other beatnik buffoon… and put down the Vice Magazine.
Where did you get this?
I honestly can’t understand how some people can even listen to this useless drivel. It’s a sorry excuse for a band, much less music.
I’ve tried to hard to like this band due to all of the raving reviews, but to no avail. It’s just pointless noise that ends up going nowhere; it’s utter crap.
i ahte sy so much. I regret buying sister evol confusion goo dirty why did i waste my money ? i regret going to theyr shows.. they’re re arty band I hate art I hate people that think theyre artists so theyre better I love art and movies but i dont think should be on a stage or in a museum.. i once met s shelly and could tell he hated talking to people what a dork can we meet kim and thurston ? no, they’re in the touring bus.. sure.. i hate theyre music too and my friends think the same it’s a ripoff
plus… i foudn out some brilliant stuff against t moore poses and how hes tatally in love w himself and stuff.. on flipside magazine.. i agree kim sings.. hem.. it’s bad scene man.. ripoff
plus… i foudn out some brilliant stuff against t moore poses and how hes tatally in love w himself and stuff.. i agree kim sings.. hem.. it’s bad scene man.. ripoff
oh and guitar… right. glenn branca did it all before.
and open chords… please..
and you dont really trash fender mustangs now that are collextable.. why shoudl you do that ?
i love my mustanng
Fuck, why would I have to explain to you assholes why I like a band? Your petty hate would be absolved if you realized we shouldn’t be under such a broken scope. Articles like these are funny but nothing more, and I found this funny.
You are all poor narrowminded people. Thats a fact. What kind of understanding for music do you have if regret buying Evol? You guys are fans of sellout bands, and it happened that sonic youth isnt that kind of band, right?
Monotonous and boring huh? Arent you tired of listening to your so-called-EMO-chart-hitters? Youre all lucky because this is your generation, generation of overrated and sellout music. Thats a fact. ^_^
You sound like a douche bag. I don’t give a shit about “selling out” or whatever else makes you feel better about the overrated crap fest of unlistenable garbage you claim to like. I enjoy music that is good and listenable. I couldn’t care less if someone writes something that is difficult to reproduce, it doesn’t make their “music” any less unappealing.
Really? So you are type of person who goes along with the flow of shit huh. You said that you give a shit huh well reacting to post shows that you do give a shit. youre funny somehow lols.
I agree when you said that you dont give a shit about selling out because you might be a type of person who goes along with the flow, dont worry i dont give a damn if you’re into Justin Bieber musick. I respect you. lols.You’re funny, irritating somehow. lols
Hey remember when people listened to what they wanted and didn’t care if people liked their music taste or not? Those were good times.
I bought one of their albums never having heard them before. I thought I had heard someone say they were good.
I threw up in my hands before I could throw the CD in the trash.
I can’t believe that all of you haters can waste even more time logging on to the internet to spread your little hate messages. People, this is what Nazis would do. I gotta say, I have always hated SY, until I actually listened to them. Music is my life, without it I would certainly perish, I owe much thanks to the members of this band. Think about this: If everyone liked the same things, this world would be a real boring place to live.
I have found SY remarkably inaccessible (read: unlistenable) over the months and years and was wondering if i was nuts. Not! In particular My Boyfriend’s Wife Hates Me’s well-written comments confirm my suspicions!
thank you for writing this, i’ve been so conscious after a long bout of depression from failing out of art school. i didn’t understand why i hated everyone around me, they weren’t creative or intelligent and certainly not talented. art and music are a language that speaks to us on a subconscious level. when i hear sonic youth i know it blows, that’s what my gut tells me, and if you truly like them you really blow. seriously. fucking steve albini shreds them…and i love him.
This is fuckin great. I have never understood why so many people like this band. And I’m pretty open-minded. No one else I know thinks that this band is crap. And I always have. And yes, Kim Gordon is fucking annoying. Her fucking voice sucks and I think a lot of people know it, but won’t admit it because liking Sonic Youth is a “cool” thing to a lot of people. You know, like how SO many people like the Beatles just because they’re the Beatles, and you’re supposed to like them? Same thing here. People seem to think that Sonic Youth are a very important band, that changed the world of music in a huge way. Then why is it that even though I’ve been exposed to all kinds of music my entire life, have watched television since 1986, and have had the internet since I was 12, I never heard of them until I was 20 years old? Can’t be that important, sorry…but literally all but one person I know had no clue who the hell they were either…ouch.
Sonic Youth sucks like a wet fart in a white suit.
Hey, how about you spend your time listening to bands whos music you actually like rather than wasting your time saying shit about an awesome band…..alright then.
I agree with Jean here, you suck balls.
I try, I REALLY try not to say anything bad about anyone from Connecticut, because there’s only about 600 of us, and we need to stick together – BUT…
Thurston sucks. He is the absolute worst thing about this horrible and horribly overrated band. (I LIKE Shelley, and I liked Bert, too).
Why doesn’t Byron Coley shoot him? I HATE it when he does his unlistenable stretched-out jazz-bo bag with the living dead of 60′s/70′s avant-bop. Hell, I heard Branford Fucking ‘Buckshot LeFoncque’ Marsalis play Hindemith, and that kicked your ass, too. Stop trying to hide your non-talent with psuedo-intellectual atonal squall, you stoner homo.
His brother ran that cool American Trash store in Danbury, so he’s alright.
I’ve seen SY about 20 times. They sucked stale poo 18 of those times, and the other 2 times I was on mescaline, and they were pretty good.
I feel ya about Kim, too. I still have nightmares about her creaking through that hideous ‘Kurt Cobain’ movie too. Yikes! Is there a hormone in the house?!
Get a clue bitch. Hate a band because others like them? Clueless.
Daydream Nation is the fifth studio album by the American alternative rock band Sonic Youth. It was released in October 1988 by Enigma Records in the United States, and by Blast First in the United Kingdom.
Widely considered to be the band’s magnum opus[1][2][3] and a seminal influence on the alternative and indie rock genres, it is one of the few rock albums chosen by the Library of Congress to be preserved in the National Recording Registry.
In the years following its release, Daydream Nation has risen in stature to become one of the most highly-regarded albums of the 1980s, receiving much critical acclaim and appearing on many “Best-of” lists. It was ranked #1 on Pitchfork Media’s “Top 100 Albums of the 1980s,”[1] #14 on Spin magazine’s “100 Greatest Albums, 1985–2005″,[30] and #45 on the Rolling Stone “100 Greatest Albums of the 1980s” list.[31] In 2003, the album was ranked number 329 on Rolling Stone’s “The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time” list.[32] It was one of 50 recordings chosen by the Library of Congress to be added to the National Recording Registry in 2006.
Indie fans love Daydream Nation because loving stuff like Daydream Nation is part of how we define what indie fans are.
I like sonic youth. They play high energy, loud and noisy punk rock with good tunes to boot. This article seems more like a hate letter to a demographic than to the band. “People who like Sonic Youth are pretentious douchebags” Yeah? Well fuck you. I stand by the music I like and and don’t need to explain why I do. If you don’t like ‘em don’t listen to ‘em.
P.S. there is an off button on the stereo, asshole.